In Joseph Heller’s classic book Catch-22, there is a character named Major Major Major Major. First name: Major. Last name: Major. Middle name: Major. He is also a major in the army. You can only meet with Major Major Major Major when he is not in his office. If he is in his office, no one is allowed to see him. It is beautifully absurd.
I have arrived at a similar conclusion regarding Glacier Point in Yosemite National Park. The only time anyone should visit Glacier Point is when the road to Glacier Point is closed. The road typically closes in November and reopens in late May. If you visit Glacier Point when the road to Glacier Point is open, there will be too many people at Glacier Point to properly enjoy it. So don’t go. Unless you can’t. Then by all means do so.
Unlike Joseph Heller’s book, which is full of absurd impossibilities, there are actually three ways to visit Glacier Point while the road is closed.
The first way to visit Glacier Point while the road is closed is by ski or snowshoe. The road is 16 miles long. During much of the winter, the road is open for the first five miles so that people can access Badger Pass Ski Area. (Badger Pass is California’s oldest ski area.) The rest of the road is covered in snow, though it is regularly groomed by snowcat to make travel by ski or snowshoe relatively easy. It would be challenging to ski all the way to Glacier Point and back in a single day. An overnight stay at the point would be ideal. In years past there was a lodging option. Since 2020, the only option has been to snow camp.
The second way to visit Glacier Point while the road is closed is by foot. For a short period of time, the trail from the valley to Glacier Point opens before the road does. If you are willing to tackle this trail fairly early in the day, you will have Glacier Point to yourself. The trail is called the “Four Mile Trail.” Don’t be fooled. The trail is actually now closer to five miles long and ascends 3,500 vertical feet.
The third way to visit Glacier Point while the road is closed is by bicycle. After Badger Pass closes for the season, the road closure moves back five miles to its origin at Chinquapin. For a short period of time, the National Park Service allows bikes on this 16-mile section of road before the gate is thrown open to motor-vehicular mayhem.
There is no predicting when this will happen nor for how long. You have to be ready!
As this year’s window for bicycling the Glacier Point Road approached, I was especially engaged at home. Within a month of each other, both my children married!
Our son Brett married Marissa on April 11.
And our daughter Kelly married Dalton on May 1.
In between these events my dentist informed me that I needed a root canal, I got hit by a surfboard and our dog Poppy got diarrhea. Poor poopy Poppy.
Only four days had passed since I downed my last glass of champagne, danced one more song, and had a final piece of wedding cake when I found myself standing at the road-closed sign on the gate that marks the beginning of Glacier Point Road. I felt ill-prepared. In fact, I felt bloated and a little hung over.
I went around the gate and hopped on my bike. Weatherwise, I could not believe my good fortune. The night before, it had snowed lightly on my campfire. This morning was perfect. I was all alone for the entirety of the 16-mile ride. The only sounds were the hum of a well-tuned bicycle, the wind, the birds, and the many creeks and streams full of spring snow runoff.
It was impossible not to settle into the rhythm of the ride. I floated my way out to Glacier Point. There were a few hikers there when I arrived. It was nice to have someone to chat with and take pictures.
I asked a young lady how the hike up was. She thought it was easy. (It is not.) She was on a tour of famous climbing meccas of the western United States. When finished, she plans on riding her bike across the country. After that she will start a PhD program at Stanford University in Biological Engineering. Can you believe Gen Z kids these days? So typical — lazy and screen-obsessed. What a Zoomer!
After returning to my now warm and sunny campsite at Wawona, I rode around a little more, took a dunk in the river, and relaxed around camp.
The next day I took a short hike and hopped in the car. I stopped at Reimer’s Ice Cream just outside the park and had a double affogato before heading home.
Now that I have visited Glacier Point by bicycle, I will of course have to complete the trifecta by visiting on skis and by foot. I guess the only way to properly enjoy Glacier Point is to suffer a little in order to get there. You see, it’s a bit of a Catch-22.
The bike ride proved that I am still hale and hearty, Poppy has fully recovered from her gastrointestinal distress and love fills the air and fills my every breath. Congratulations to the happy couples!
One last picture: Karen and I enjoying a day at Badger Pass during our honeymoon in Yosemite almost forty years ago.
Click below for bonus content: a post that is even faster, more frivolous and just as fun!
"Trail Reports" 